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emmahircine posts

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Man, chokiing on sugar seems like the sweetest way to go!

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I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faste..

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I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster - but it just made it more sluggish.

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My mate told me to stop speaking in numbers. But I didn't 1 ..

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My mate told me to stop speaking in numbers. But I didn't 1 2.

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When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was woof

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When I asked my dog how his day was he said it was woof

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I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

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I make apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

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I used to be a shoe saleswoman until they gave me the boot

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I used to be a shoe saleswoman until they gave me the boot

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The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line

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The best way to communicate with fish is to drop them a line

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I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, b..

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I should have been sad when my flash light batteries died, but I was de-lighted.

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Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed f..

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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.

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How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

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How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

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Why do they put fences around cementeries? Because people ar..

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My mate tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn't ..

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I wear glasses during math because it improves division.

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I wear glasses during math because it improves division.

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I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.

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I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property ov..

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I put up a high-voltage electric fence around my property over the weekend, my neighbour is dead against it...

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A criminals best asset is his lie ability.

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A criminals best asset is his lie ability.

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Th..

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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

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If at first you don't succeed then skydiving is not for you.

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It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty... but he had a great fall.

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